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Is anyone lightening for social reasons?

12K views 146 replies 27 participants last post by  UltimateMerger 
#1 ·
I myself am lightening for a few different reasons. One of them being, quite frankly, to increase my standing in society. I feel it will be of benefit to my professional and personal life i.e. employment and dating. It is not the main reason I am lightening, but it definitely adds a huge perk. Cutting through the BS that is political correctness, I think we can all agree that lighter skin means a better standing with society. This is the sad truth, but nonetheless the truth. Lighter skinned people are given preference in many different realms of society, from dating, to prison terms, to employment, etc.:


Quote: The study, which sampled over 12,000 black women imprisoned in North Carolina between 1995 and 2009, showed that light-skinned women were sentenced to 12 percent less time behind bars than their darker-skinned counterparts. The results also showed that having light skin reduces the actual time served by 11 percent.



Quote: A 2006 University of Georgia study showed that employers prefer light-skinned black men to dark-skinned men, regardless of their qualifications. We found that a light-skinned black male can have only a Bachelor’s degree and typical work experience and still be preferred over a dark-skinned black male with an MBA and past managerial positions,” said Matthew S. Harrison in 2006, then a doctoral student in applied industrial organizational psychology at Georgia.



Quote: In Oct. 2007, a Detroit party promoter caused an uproar when he promoted a party giving free admission to light-skinned women only. Ulysses Barnes — or “DJ Lish” — promoted a party for “Light Skinned Women & All Libras” but promptly cancelled it after women and activist groups protested the party’s premise.



Source: http://newsone.com/nation/tjstarr/light-skin-vs-dark-skin/

Is this fair? Of course not. But it is what it is. Moreover, lighter skinned individuals are seen as in a better light than darker skinned individual. This has become more of an issue of colorism than racism:


Quote: Voters’ preferences for the lighter black held regardless of the racial predispositions of the subject. Respondents also rated the light-skinned black candidate as being more intelligent, more experienced, and more trustworthy than his dark-skinned opponent. Thus, black candidates were disadvantaged by race, but the support eroded even further when the candidate’s complexion was dark.


Source: http://theboard.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/08/22/as-racism-wanes-colorism-persists/

Many mothers and grandmothers secretly (or openly) wish for that baby with green eyes, blond hair, and lighter skin. This is what is generally seen, and not the other way around. And this is not to say that everyone has these thoughts. Not at all. And to say IDGAF about what people say, is not a complete truth, for how society sees us affects our perception of ourselves. These conclusions are the result of the work of social scientists and will, as any other conclusion of social science, be generalization with many exceptions.

So I'm curious if there is anyone else out there whom feels the same as I do?
 
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#8 ·
I believe it. We all lighten for different reasons. My main reason is also cosmetic. I am looking to brighten and smoothen my skin, as in it's natural untreated state it is rather dull. However, upon embarking on this lightening journey, I soon learned that there were social benefits of lightening. And to deny that the idea of said benefits didn't put a grin on my face would be hypocritical of myself. I decided to bring this up to the light to see if anyone else shared these feelings with me.
 
#15 ·
Well i first i started out to improve some simple imperfections and rid my eczema,I honestly never had a problem with my skin color,i always thought/and was told i was beautifull even with eczema filled neck and face .B4 i wouldnt think twice about trying to lighten.I have been to the derm plenty of times ,left with scripts for my eczema and it would still come back.I later discovered SCT i caught the lightening bug,the serious lightening bug..My first reggie that last for 8 months was one of the best things that happen to my skin.I have been eczema free and even and i love it. Now i am lighter and i love the way it looks on me.In addtion to that i am more knowledgable about skin care in general.I have now embarked on a new journey"DIY" and i am interested to see how light i will get,its more of a hobby for me then a priority.
 
#19 ·
I was once a teen and I realized that people treated me different, not only because I am African, but also because I was dark skin. I started lightening at 14, and i never really got any where. But I wanted to lighten because I wanted to fit in, or be just as pretty as.I didn't want to hear that I was beautiful based on an exception. When I turned 18, I began lightening again, and I became lighter, but It was based on cosmetic reasons. I didn't like my uneven skintone....at 21, the reason I am lightening is still the same.I don' t think I would ever base my lightening in hopes to become more appealing to society. Many dark women / WOC have done great things in this country. They have received triumphant success, not because of how they looked like, but because they are intelligent, brave, and strong. The actions of these dark women have changed the lives of many around the world. Whether I am dark or light as my natural birth color, I know that I will be successful, and I will not be confound to any negative statistic of black women. I grew up in a rough city, and where I am from, those statistics don't matter ... everyone that is black in the judicial system is facing time for their action.The black man is a commodity. The white America fears change and they know that a black man who is no longer mentally enslaved is strong and fearless.

If any one is solely basing their lightening on the purposes of getting better treatment or being seen equal to others within your race, you should take envy out of the equation, and see if you can really prove that life is better on the lighter side..

If you have faith in God, we will all be placed in the right "social" / "financial" situation at the right time... and we will be placed in situations where people will overlook our color.
 
#24 ·
I was once a teen and I realized that people treated me different, not only because I am African, but also because I was dark skin. I started lightening at 14, and i never really got any where. But I wanted to lighten because I wanted to fit in, or be just as pretty as.I didn't want to hear that I was beautiful based on an exception. When I turned 18, I began lightening again, and I became lighter, but It was based on cosmetic reasons. I didn't like my uneven skintone....at 21, the reason I am lightening is still the same.I don' t think I would ever base my lightening in hopes to become more appealing to society. Many dark women / WOC have done great things in this country. They have received triumphant success, not because of how they looked like, but because they are intelligent, brave, and strong. The actions of these dark women have changed the lives of many around the world. Whether I am dark or light as my natural birth color, I know that I will be successful, and I will not be confound to any negative statistic of black women. I grew up in a rough city, and where I am from, those statistics don't matter ... everyone that is black in the judicial system is facing time for their action.The black man is a commodity. The white America fears change and they know that a black man who is no longer mentally enslaved is strong and fearless.

If any one is solely basing their lightening on the purposes of getting better treatment or being seen equal to others within your race, you should take envy out of the equation, and see if you can really prove that life is better on the lighter side..

If you have faith in God, we will all be placed in the right "social" / "financial" situation at the right time... and we will be placed in situations where people will overlook our color.
I agree with this. And I'm all for ethnic pride and what not. I personally don't believe that skin color has anything to do with holding people back form acheiving their goals. Rather, societies preferences do. Being lighter simply makes it easier. That is how I know any dark skinned woman who's become successful is a real trooper, because she probably had to work harder than her lighter skinned counter parts to make it as far as she's made it. This thread was dedicated to those who've realized that skin lightening has given them an advantage in other areas of life besides just cosmetic. Me for example, did not go into this for the purpose of becoming more appealing to society, but rather for cosmetic reasons as most here have. But throughout my journey, I've discovered that just by the nature of lightening my skin, there will be by default other benefits to reap. Going into skin lightening for the sole/primary reason of becoming more appealing to society may be indicative of insecurity but even then, it is what it is and everyone is entitled to alter themselves in a way they feel will make them look better without having to deal with the harsh criticisms from others. To me, I just discovered that I was sort of killing two birds with one stone. And it is pretty amazing.

Since you've lightened, has the treatment you received from others changed at all?
 
#29 ·
I'll be honest. I just don't feel pretty anymore. My skin is very dry and uneven. It has gotten so bad that wearing foundation and concealer doesn't help anymore. I just look horrible. For example, I'm dark around my mouth. Which makes me look like I shaved a mustache, altho I have no hair there. I want an even-toned complexion with no scars. I've seen women who are darker than me that have beautiful, glowing skin.

On to the superficial reasons. I feel that if I was lighter .. I'd meet more guys. Don't get me wrong, I meet guys but I don't meet my 'type' that much. Where I live, it's all about the light skin girls. In my opinion, not all light people are pretty. But in a man's mind, light is always preferred over dark no matter what. My ex boyfriend and I recently broke up, so my self esteem has hit rock bottom. He was very attractive, the 'type' of guy I have a preference for and I want to get him back. I've wanted to lighten my skin for years, but I didn't know it was possible. When we were together, I was happier and busy with him and life in general, so I didn't think about it much. The break up motivated me to make myself look better, by lightening my skin and losing a few pounds. I don't know which one is harder to commit too. I'm kinda hoping that - when he sees the new and improved me - he'll want me back. If not, I'm sure I'll meet someone else comparable to him (or better) once I lighten my skin.
 
#52 ·
awwwsugar just lightening your skin is not going to make you feel pretty or beautiful,that comes from within, work on self confidence and loving yourself just as you are first,reject anything within society that says you are not beautiful because you are dark,that is so ridiculous and those that put the notion across actually know this, how many busted ugly light, white skinnned people are there in the world? tons.The world is full of them .It is not because you are dark you feel this way, its just stereotypes that feed on your energy that make you feel bad then you attract these experiences, once you learn to talk highly of yourself ,loving yourself even saying I LOVE YOU in the mirror and looking after uneven skin, and not lightening because of a man or relationship,your own world around you WILL START TO CHANGE but it begins with you,i love all my sisters and brothers dark,light or white.Once you love you, then start lightening its more fun that way get books on positive self talk and create the world you want and forget about others and their negative energy sucking rubbish,its not your crap send it back.This is what i have learnt anyway GOD BLESS YOU.

I'll be honest. I just don't feel pretty anymore. My skin is very dry and uneven. It has gotten so bad that wearing foundation and concealer doesn't help anymore. I just look horrible. For example, I'm dark around my mouth. Which makes me look like I shaved a mustache, altho I have no hair there. I want an even-toned complexion with no scars. I've seen women who are darker than me that have beautiful, glowing skin.

On to the superficial reasons. I feel that if I was lighter .. I'd meet more guys. Don't get me wrong, I meet guys but I don't meet my 'type' that much. Where I live, it's all about the light skin girls. In my opinion, not all light people are pretty. But in a man's mind, light is always preferred over dark no matter what. My ex boyfriend and I recently broke up, so my self esteem has hit rock bottom. He was very attractive, the 'type' of guy I have a preference for and I want to get him back. I've wanted to lighten my skin for years, but I didn't know it was possible. When we were together, I was happier and busy with him and life in general, so I didn't think about it much. The break up motivated me to make myself look better, by lightening my skin and losing a few pounds. I don't know which one is harder to commit too. I'm kinda hoping that - when he sees the new and improved me - he'll want me back. If not, I'm sure I'll meet someone else comparable to him (or better) once I lighten my skin.
 
#31 ·
Many moons ago, I began a similar thread : People are treating me differently. Many people jumped down my throat! It's nice to see that the Newbie crowd today is more open to this kind of discussion!

Living where I do (extremely diverse upscale area) I didn't expect this to happen. White people weren't behaving any differently towards me than beforehand, BUT I'm a mixed person with sharp Caucasian features & long wavy hair: I know that things are very different for people arriving from Africa & certain Caribbean countries who have very dark skin AND ******* features AND afro-textured hair as they enter into a white majority nation. Their body structure, style of dress, accent...so much influences the way they're perceived.

I noticed the difference with people in my area who are from India, Pakistan & Bangladesh! I'm not a member of these communities so I wasn't attending their religious/cultural/social functions & never gained a true awareness of the severe colourism that persists amongst them. Suddenly, strange people were greeting me, smiling at me & acknowledging me. I'd become visible even though I'd never realised that I had been invisible in the 1st place!

Lightening, for me, didn't begin as a desire to improve my social standing (I'm in a good place) or to nab a successful man (married to one already). I was seeking to remove a permatan that had distorted my colour to where my small features almost vanished! The exfoliating + SAP (sun avoidance & protection) regimen took care of that. I had forgotten what colour I really was! Decades of never using sunblock (nobody except super white people did when I was younger) enjoying beach vacations & just being outdoorsy had taken their toll. I went from slightly darker than Gabrielle Union (but with a red undertone) to a medium Beyonce (still reddish) & I've maintained it easily. I'm thinking of going a little lighter out of sheer curiosity as to how it would look but I don't want to go Mariah Carey pale: just not to my taste.
 
#37 ·
I don't know I just think if you ain't got it. You just don't have it. Like I know some guys that will date anything as long as she's light. But being light doesn't change or help the fact that your ugly. And Im caramel and I have never experienced someone choosing someone else over me cause they were lighter. Actually it has been the opposite. I think sometimes people put too much into the whole light vs dark thing. Yes it is an major issues in the black community but it isn't the the only factor for everything.At times people blame stuff on it that may not be the issue.like just cause a guy doesn't like you may not be because your dark or she's light.you might have low self esteem which is a turn off. You might be lame or just not attractive. It is what it is. Also if i read one more person say they don't have African feature they have European features. I don't know what Im going to do with myself.
 
#38 ·
This!

Soooo true, lightening skin is fun for me, something different I never tried before. But the attention I get from guys is extreme no matter what color...which is why I never was lightening my skin to feel better about myself but really just for fun. Now there are def some guys who will get w/ a girl only b/c shes light BUT that doesn't make her attractive, it just means they have a sad complex.

And LOL @ "African features" b/c it's actually the most ignorant thing in life...this is what I mean about generalized statements about an entire continent of people! Ugh, I can't!!!!


Also if i read one more person say they don't have African feature they have European features. I don't know what Im going to do with myself.
 
#39 ·
This is by far, one of the best threads ever written on the internet. You've hit the nail right on the head, without being politically correct. It is what it is and the truth is, the world favors lighter skinned people. The lighter your skin is, the more respect you get. Of course the left wing, politically correct crowd won't tell you this because they want you to feel "equal". If people find out the real truth, you'd start to see a social breakdown of society. R3v0lutions would break out all over the world. They wouldn't want that to happen so instead they create an environment that's peaceful and racially tolerant as they can.

But we all know that's not how it works in the real world.
 
#41 ·
Huh??

Quote: Originally Posted by Africanprincess

Layla boo you know were always >
 
#42 ·
I, like many on here, started lightening just to erase uneveness and acne scarring.
I didn't want to actually start lightening my overall complexion until I started getting lighter.

Unless I was being compared to another biracial girl who was MUCH lighter than me, I was never considered dark infact, it was the complete opposite. I'm a nurse from Texas (totally not a glamorous life) who's boyfriend is Korean and completely colorblind. I have never felt ugly or inferior to anywho with lighter skin or sharper features (on occassion I obsess over Paula Patton or Kiko Mizuhara) So, I can't say its for social or cosmetic reasons. I honestly don't know why I'm lightening other than, it keeps my skin scar free.........
 
#46 ·
Quote:
I, like many on here, started lightening just to erase uneveness and acne scarring.
I didn't want to actually start lightening my overall complexion until I started getting lighter.

Unless I was being compared to another biracial girl who was MUCH lighter than me, I was
never considered dark infact, it was the complete opposite. I'm a nurse from Texas
(totally not a glamorous life) who's boyfriend is Korean and completely colorblind. I have never
felt ugly or inferior to anywho with lighter skin or sharper features (on occassion I obsess over
Paula Patton or Kiko Mizuhara) So, I can't say its for social or cosmetic reasons. I honestly
don't know why I'm lightening other than, it keeps my skin scar free.........
I know this is off-topic, but I couldn't resist the urge to ask. Sol, why do you say being a nurse is not a glamorous? I'm not trying to dig into your personal business. Nursing is my major and sometimes I question if it's the career I truly want. I don't know any nurses personally, so I don't know what to expect or how to determine if it's the career I should pursue.
 
#50 ·
I personally don't understand why anyone would want to attract or date this kind of superficial men that are only attracted to light skin women...
Also if you choose to lighten, u should do it for yourself (that should be your main motive). Don't do it to please anybody else but yourself.
 
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