Ok Thanks Fawnie, I will look into that...thanks
Yes Lexi, I do believe this tanning issue is more than just feeling and looking good on the outside. I definitely feel that there is more to it than just looking good. I find that this "tanning issue" is also a psychological issue, it is more than just looking good on the outside (or should I say "its more than skin deep" lol). It also has significantly lowered my self confidence, this is not an easy thing to admit, but it is true. I never realized just how addicted to tanning I was, until I stopped.
Yesterday my 27yr old neice was over, I caught myself admiring her skin, and wishing my skin was as beautiful as hers, then I thought, If I had skin like hers, I may not of felt the need to work on obtaining that golden glow. Thats when it hit me, I spent so much time trying to obtain perfection, I wanted to look good all the time, I was trying to cover up more than just my skin perfections, I evidently had more underlying issues than I ever knew.
There are many people who have spent their life avoiding the sun, sitting under umbrellas, wearing hats, loading up on sunscreen, just avoiding it completely. I could never imagine myself doing that, I loved the sun to much to be able to hide from it. Now I realize how much better their skin probably is, and how much I probably ruined my own. Then I look at others, like my Dad, who was also a sun worshiper at one time. He spent 20yrs working outdoors, (my brother used to ask my mom why my dad was black and we were white LOL) I am half Italian and half Irish (my dad is Italian) I have blue eyes and dirty blonde hair, but my skin always tanned like my dad. My Dad who is 76 yrs old looks wonderful, people never take him for his real age. He also does not have many wrinkles....go figure. But he did have skin cancer on his back.....He is fine now, but that was scary. This is another reason I try to convince myself of the dangers of tanning.
Tanning was a very important part of my life in the summer months, I miss it very much, but I am also realizing that there are alot more reasons for my tanning than just having color.....I think I need some counseling....LOL LOL