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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
have only been a member of this forum for a couple of months now and in my opinion the quality of the forum is at risk.

There are offensive behaviors which are exhibited which I believe jeopardize the reputation and validity of the forum. Some of the behaviors include - but are not limited to:
  1. derogatory comments
  2. slander
  3. insults
  4. disrespect
  5. name calling
  6. profanity
  7. negative implications, criticism


I can recall seven such occurrences off the top of my head.

Debate and different viewpoints and opinions are healthy and valuable. The above listed behaviors are not. Forum members are reluctant to do the things that a forum is about, learn, contribute, post comments, post pictures, etc. I am sure there are many others, on the sideline, who read the forum posts and who have valuable input, knowledge and experiences but don't share because of this temperament. This forum has been a "valuable resource and tool" for me and I would hate to see it trashed or shut down.

I would like to appeal to all of you to please exercise respect for not only forum members but others as well. Derogatory comments, insults, name calling etc. are unnecessary and quite frankly are very childish. I think the disparaging comments can be avoided. You don't know who is reading this forum

One of the members (I think we all know who)has already h ad to take p action because of someone trying to contact them outside of the forum. Recall some of the talk show hosts, online services and companies who found themselves in some very unfortunate situations because of guests, members and posts. People are soooooo unpredictable these days.

I am sure this post/thread will ignite some of these behaviors as well - but I am willing to take the heat for something I believe in. I don't want these behaviors to side line me as well.
 

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Hmm I must have missed those threads because for the most part I have not seen too many on your list at SkinCareTalk.

The majority of members here have been very nice!!

A couple of old threads I've seen yes, but those people were taken care of by Susan (moderator) quick!!

I agree with you, wouldn't want this forum shut down.
We have good thing going on here!!
 

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duly noted! I will try my best to act sane.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hmm I must have missed those threads because for the most part I have not seen too many on your list at SkinCareTalk.

The majority of members here have been very nice!!

A couple of old threads I've seen yes, but those people were taken care of by Susan (moderator) quick!!

I agree with you, wouldn't want this forum shut down.
We have good thing going on here!!
2 examples are on the The I have African Features...don't go too light thread
 

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2 examples are on the The I have African Features...don't go too light thread
Frankly, the title itself was a
for me. I actually avoided it for while.

There are so many combinations of coloring and structure in humans that my initial response was to laugh. So I went in with a spirit of absurdity & humor. It can't be this serious?

OTOH, I'm new here, so I might be missing something.<shrug>
 

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2 examples are on the The I have African Features...don't go too light thread
Ohhhh!! I thought so !!
But I was not sure.
I just noticed your post in that thread about this thread.
I got it now
 

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That thread was of interest to me because I could tell that the author had to work up a lot of courage to express such strong & plitically incorrect & 'unpopular' sentiments. I felt that engaging her in exploring the reasons behind her feelings was more constructive than ignoring or criticizing her.

Another teen poster here wrote "HELP! I HATE my skin" several months back & many of us were cincerned for her well-being. Her self-critique was dysmorphic in nature & she saw herself as 'dark' when she is Rihanna's colour.

In discussing controversial & at times sensitive topics, at times feathers will get ruffled & some strong statements will be posted. Providing we remain reasonably respectful, this is to be expected. I have received personal messages that have been downright threatening from people who have disagreed with something I said. More than one has dumped horrid messages into my personal email address that I did not post here. They are what thew DELETE key is for. Should someone post anything that offensive, you can notify the moderator & she will **** it down.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
That thread was of interest to me because I could tell that the author had to work up a lot of courage to express such strong & plitically incorrect & 'unpopular' sentiments. I felt that engaging her in exploring the reasons behind her feelings was more constructive than ignoring or criticizing her.

Another teen poster here wrote "HELP! I HATE my skin" several months back & many of us were cincerned for her well-being. Her self-critique was dysmorphic in nature & she saw herself as 'dark' when she is Rihanna's colour.

In discussing controversial & at times sensitive topics, at times feathers will get ruffled & some strong statements will be posted. Providing we remain reasonably respectful, this is to be expected. I have received personal messages that have been downright threatening from people who have disagreed with something I said. More than one has dumped horrid messages into my personal email address that I did not post here. They are what thew DELETE key is for. Should someone post anything that offensive, you can notify the moderator & she will **** it down.
I understand your reasoning. But this is where other forum members "who have walked the walk" can add value and perhaps help members such as the young ladies you mentioned. They don't need a psychological assessment or history lesson.
I have made the same comment (Help! I Hate my skin) many times, most recently as 4 months ago to a dermatologist and I was and am not dysmorphic, suicidal, or lacking in self-esteem or confidence. I can understand and empathize with how they feel. I stumbled across this forum shortly after (the useless_ visit to the derm and now I can say THANKS FOR THE HELP - I LOVE MY SKIN. And that is what I want everyone to be able to say eventually - regardless of their ethnicity, skin tone, reasoning, etc. I believe we can ALL help each other to reach our goals through respect and support.

You, LNL, PeriWinkle, Gymrat, Goatlady, Fawnie, MADelong, Crescent Moon (where has he gone - I miss him) and a host of others have all provided information which has helped me to almost achieve my goal.
Although, I have not reached my final goal I can already say I LOVE MY SKIN even though right now I looked like a dried up onion for the most part.
The areas where I stopped the RA so that the peeling can stop - (preparing for a dressy event) - are AWESOME
 

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I can tell by yr posts that you are not dysmorphic but this sad teen girl was. She had even mentioned suicide.

"They don't need a psychological assessment or history lesson." actually, she needed both. I corresponded with her personally helping her as best I could to sort through the confused feelings she had gotten in part from media messages. I told her I was no therapist: just a 'regular person' & that she ought to speak to an adult who could help her: a guidance counselor at school, a trusted relative... This girl had no clue that her feelings had a social & an historic context & talking about it made her feel less isolated. What helps one person, may be old news to another-esp to someone older who knows about it already.

These same members here & I'd add Fawnie & Karenannev too, have helped me as well. This is what I like here: everyone contributes.
 
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