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to take good care of her skin? I don't know what to do anymore. I've bought her skincare products, I've tried talking to her, I've even dragged her into the bathroom and even washed her face, moiterised her face for her. I've lost my temper at her. I've bribed her with days out and with my books with my clothes and stuff.

She is a very very very beautiful girl, but her skin is so terrible, she is darker in complexion but when she doesn't keep good care of her skin-her complexion looks muddy and dirty.

Whenever I do anything like this she ALWAYS cries. But then later on, she apologies and promises to take care of herself, but doesn't.

What do I do? How can I persuade a 13 year old to take care of themselves?
Any ideas anyone?
 

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My 10 year old is gorgeous. Everyone is telling me she looks like a model. I am going through the same thing with her. She is completely unfocused on her looks and hygiene. I am starting to notice tiny pimple on her face which I think is due to her NEVER washing it. I hate treating her like a child, but I may just have to start washing her again until she GETS it. Honestly the only thing I can think of is to show her photos of people with terrible cystic acne and scare her, but it does seem cruel. But unless they WANT to do it they probably will not.
 

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goatlady and Maha, I dont think they have the ability or they even have the sense to understand that keeping your looks polished and groomed are vital to the real world b/c they are so young, I honestly didnt care about my looks till later on in high school thats when I figured it out for myself before going to job interviews that you need to look sharp, clean, and well groomed. They are 10 and 13 years old, they have other things in mind like the problems of puberty. When they look in the mirror they dont see themselves like we start to when we are a little more older, they will though and they will have experiences in school that will make them take care of their skin, people will point them out later on.



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That's what I said to her, one day someone will say something and YOU WILL care. Right now she has no clue. Hopefully she will get lucky and not have any issues with her skin but even if she does, her mom knows what to do!
 

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Maha, have you bought your neice her own products? Does she live with you? It might be good to instead approach the issue in a positive way. Start out slowly. Buy your neice her own products and about once a week, before bed invite her into your bathroom for a bonding type of pampering session. This way she can watch what you do with your nightly regimen. She can bring her products and you can both perform the regimen together. Make a habit of it and don't push her anymore. With that age, they're likely to rebel and do the opposite of what you want if it isn't approached correctly. She might enjoy the chance of having one-on-one time with you and she will feel privelaged to be one of the few people that gets to see what you do daily to keep yourself beautiful. This will be something memorable for her, when she's an adult she'll think back on it fondly. As you know, keep telling her she is beautiful and that these products really only enhance her beauty. Self-esteen is crucial at this age. I wish someone would have done this with me!!
 

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shouldn't force things on child, that can mess them up later, even if its something silly as this... really good idea vananners. they will care eventually.. everyone goes through it ~.~ make it fun!! or even a game
 

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I can still remember well being a teen so I do not ever push things on her, just gently suggest or show her some of the problems than can arise if she doesn't take care of herself. I know eventually one day someone kind enough maybe a friend will tell her she forgot her soap/perfume one day
 

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i dunno? try making it fun for them instead of a chore? like you can wash your face and put some makeup on and some perfume and smell all pretty... girls love that stuff right?
 

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Not my girl, she hates pink and gurlie stuff, HATES it. Hates dolls would never ask for one or wanted one. Thinks they are utterly stupid. She loved dinos when smaller she could name them all at the age of 5. Say it better than the teacher! The closest thing she will get to pink is purple. Her room looks like a grape vineyard exploded
 

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Oh don't force it, the more you do the more they won't respond.

They will do something about it when the time is right. I have an 18 and 21 year old, both boys, who do nothing but take good care of themselves. They use great products, they exercise, they are very social and care very much what they look like and what they wear. It all comes from just sitting back and watching how my husband and I live our lives. If you are a good role model, that is all your neice will need. If she see's how important skincare is to you and she see's how you invest not only your time but your money to take good care of your skin, she eventually will too. But she needs to do it on her own. You cannot force her.

Supply her with what she needs, if that is what you want to do. Explain to her how and what to use, and then go wash your hands. Your job is done.
 

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I dunno Maha, I think it's genetic. Some ppl are interested (obsessed?) in skincare, and some just aren't. Who are we to judge, and I'm not saying you are, but maybe she is just not into it. Basic hygiene has to suffice for some.

I was always fascinated by it and got into my mom's cosmetics when I was just tiny, experimenting. I asked for skin products on my own and borrowed my dad's Stridex and Clearasil since he was very meticulous about his skincare and fought acne all his life - his skin was flawless though as a result. As everyone has said, I think you can set a good example, but pushing will only alienate and make her self-conscious Maha. Wait for her to show interest. Bless you for your interest tho!




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Heck, I'm trying to get my 21 year old to take better care of her skin and she's had the best teacher ever!!! She will go nights and the next morning w/o washing her face except for whatever body wash she might use in the shower the night before. UGH. She'll get a breakout of pimples and gripe and I remind her that when she used her Bare Escentuals cleanser nightly and oil-free moisturizer she didn't break out like that, but she says...... "Oh I know but I'm just lazy. And not as vain as you." LOL One day she probably will be as vain as I am. It just frustrates me so badly that she won't use the products I GIVE her!
 

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i have to just say forcing the issue abt her hygiene and taking care of her looks can have a really negative affect on your daughter in the way in making her think she isnt good enough im sure that was never your intention but its amazing what an impact such a comment can make especially to a teen give it time as its fairly common for kids and teens to be like this in time it will change then you'll be saying get away from the mirror and stop using all my beauty products
 

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I dunno Maha, I think it's genetic. Some ppl are interested (obsessed?) in skincare, and some just aren't. Who are we to judge, and I'm not saying you are, but maybe she is just not into it. Basic hygiene has to suffice for some.

I was always fascinated by it and got into my mom's cosmetics when I was just tiny, experimenting. I asked for skin products on my own and borrowed my dad's Stridex and Clearasil since he was very meticulous about his skincare and fought acne all his life - his skin was flawless though as a result. As everyone has said, I think you can set a good example, but pushing will only alienate and make her self-conscious Maha. Wait for her to show interest. Bless you for your interest tho!
Genetics fawnie?? My mom never wore makeup, washed her face with bar soap and used Oil of Olay lotion!!! Where in the heck did I get my skincare issue from-


Thank goodness I was blessed enough to care about my skin and be cautious of the products I use.
 

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I can understand the frustration, but at 10 and 13, not caring about personal appearance is the norm. As long as these kids don't develop cystic acne which could scar, then they are probably better off not caring so much. At that age kids should be concentrating on just being kids. In time, chances are they'll become just as much a slave to the mirror as the rest of us, and even if they don't, is that such a bad thing? I wish I was less vain. Let them be joyous, jolly and carefree! Probably the last chance they'll get. I'm jealous.
 

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Hi Maha,

Your niece is still young. Give her time.. she will learn by herself when she sees her friends, etc.
 

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Patience is a virtue - so they say....but eventually they will want to take care of their appearance, wether to impress a boy, get a part in a school play... go to a dance the list of reasons is endless.... You just need to stick around patiently until they come to you and ask for help.
 

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Patience is a virtue - so they say....but eventually they will want to take care of their appearance, wether to impress a boy, get a part in a school play... go to a dance the list of reasons is endless.... You just need to stick around patiently until they come to you and ask for help.
I agree
 
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