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Hey everyone, I'm a 19 year old guy (one of the few here!) college student and I'm interested in this topic. I've been reserching quite extensively. Both through forums and dermatologist discussions and also ingredient reserch. I'm a mixture of Black and Cuban so my skin is kinda funny. Its dark but yellow at the same time. I'd say a celebrity match would probably be similar to Will smiths with a yellow/red undertone. Not light but not dark. What is that? Medium Brown? But I refer to myself as black ) Anyways, I like my skin color and how I look, I think I'm pretty attractive and have always gotten compliments on my looks. I've always had success with women of all races and throughout highschool (a 90% white school) I was popular and won prom king my senior year and dated the hottest girl in school who was a white cheerleader. I say this not to give a triumphant bio but because I want to talk about some previous discussions on here about the "reasons for lightening" and specifically about a popular thread started by ondine about how people treated her differently when she became a few shades lighter.
First I think her saying that she would like to reach out to darker people is both ludacris and brilliant at the same time.
Me being a dark skinned man while growing up in a white enviornment and dating white girls all my life has given me some good perspective. When I first got to my highschool. All of the white people passed me by and ignored me and at first I thought, just as ignorantly as ondine, and assumed that it was because of my skin color. But then I noticed that some of the other new kids were just as ignored. And they were white. But...they were "different white" meaning that they either dressed "weird" or were gothic or were small or off main-stream in some way.
So after observing this for a few weeks I decided to try something new. Instead of going a few shades lighter like ondine I decided to simply act like most of the other guys there. I started wearing hollister and became interested in things of the white world. I started talking to the popular white kids who openly stated that they never talked to a black guy before but they were really shocked because not only was I just like them in many ways but me being black was "exotic" and different and "cool." After I got in with one group of white people all of the other white people (seeing that I was aprochable) opened up and I was just another guy in school after a while!
After a while, me being black gave me a kind of "edge" against other guys because I broke the mold so well that I became unique and one of a kind. Girls and cheerleaders and everyone really wanted to be around me. I call this the obama effect. No one cared for the him at first but after he started doing "normal" things and breaking racial norms by "sounding smart" and speaking very intelegently, it was such a shock that him being black suddenly bacame his advantage because he was one of a kind, unique and cool and the "first".
Its exaclty how my highschool days went. Everyone ignored me NoT BECAUSE OF MY SkIN COLOR, exactly, but more because I was simply... Different. But once I started exuberating extreme confidence and ease at hanging out and laughing with white people. White people "flocked to me" and I became the most popular guy in school.
So why do I want to become lighter? First, I'm going for a chris brown color for me. Maybe a little darker actually. So I guess a few shades lighter for me. Personally I think white or even black isn't as attractive as a dark golden brown. At the same time I think that just because you have golden brown skin doesn't make you attractive. Skin color is only one part of the attractiveness equation. AND I also think males can be very attractive in a wide range of colors. From as pale as That twilight guy or even as dark as tyreese or denzel washington or the #1 male model in the world, tyson beckford, a black guy. but females have a harder time being attractive at dark skin tones but it does happen. IE gabrielle union on the hot maxim 100 AGAIN. So basically while I'm not blind and can see reality that some skin tones and colors and more attractive then some other ones, its only part of the equation. U can have sharp, sexy features and a sexy bod and be dark and be a TEN. Or u can be light and have sloppy features and be overlooked.
The moral of the story is that while I believe ondine's claim that becoming lighter has given her different treatment I think that she has interpreted it VERY wrong. People didn't talk to you more because they liked your new skin color parsay, but because you not only became a little more confident (whether you think so or not) but you became a tad bit more identifiable or like them. But if you had stayed the same color and approached others with high confidence, the way people treated you would have snowballed like it did for me. People ignore people because they arn't used to their kind and because its hard to aproach someone different. But once that different person takes the extra step to turn around a jump right into the "majority" with ease and confidence the results can be quite amazing. Just look at Obama and what happened to me
Please discuss and I love this site, u guys are nice and extremely intelegent sounding. And ondine I like you too because you have contributed immensely to this site consistently and arnt afraid to speak your mind and I'm sorry if I come off as negative, its purely opinion. Thanks )
First I think her saying that she would like to reach out to darker people is both ludacris and brilliant at the same time.
Me being a dark skinned man while growing up in a white enviornment and dating white girls all my life has given me some good perspective. When I first got to my highschool. All of the white people passed me by and ignored me and at first I thought, just as ignorantly as ondine, and assumed that it was because of my skin color. But then I noticed that some of the other new kids were just as ignored. And they were white. But...they were "different white" meaning that they either dressed "weird" or were gothic or were small or off main-stream in some way.
So after observing this for a few weeks I decided to try something new. Instead of going a few shades lighter like ondine I decided to simply act like most of the other guys there. I started wearing hollister and became interested in things of the white world. I started talking to the popular white kids who openly stated that they never talked to a black guy before but they were really shocked because not only was I just like them in many ways but me being black was "exotic" and different and "cool." After I got in with one group of white people all of the other white people (seeing that I was aprochable) opened up and I was just another guy in school after a while!
After a while, me being black gave me a kind of "edge" against other guys because I broke the mold so well that I became unique and one of a kind. Girls and cheerleaders and everyone really wanted to be around me. I call this the obama effect. No one cared for the him at first but after he started doing "normal" things and breaking racial norms by "sounding smart" and speaking very intelegently, it was such a shock that him being black suddenly bacame his advantage because he was one of a kind, unique and cool and the "first".
Its exaclty how my highschool days went. Everyone ignored me NoT BECAUSE OF MY SkIN COLOR, exactly, but more because I was simply... Different. But once I started exuberating extreme confidence and ease at hanging out and laughing with white people. White people "flocked to me" and I became the most popular guy in school.
So why do I want to become lighter? First, I'm going for a chris brown color for me. Maybe a little darker actually. So I guess a few shades lighter for me. Personally I think white or even black isn't as attractive as a dark golden brown. At the same time I think that just because you have golden brown skin doesn't make you attractive. Skin color is only one part of the attractiveness equation. AND I also think males can be very attractive in a wide range of colors. From as pale as That twilight guy or even as dark as tyreese or denzel washington or the #1 male model in the world, tyson beckford, a black guy. but females have a harder time being attractive at dark skin tones but it does happen. IE gabrielle union on the hot maxim 100 AGAIN. So basically while I'm not blind and can see reality that some skin tones and colors and more attractive then some other ones, its only part of the equation. U can have sharp, sexy features and a sexy bod and be dark and be a TEN. Or u can be light and have sloppy features and be overlooked.
The moral of the story is that while I believe ondine's claim that becoming lighter has given her different treatment I think that she has interpreted it VERY wrong. People didn't talk to you more because they liked your new skin color parsay, but because you not only became a little more confident (whether you think so or not) but you became a tad bit more identifiable or like them. But if you had stayed the same color and approached others with high confidence, the way people treated you would have snowballed like it did for me. People ignore people because they arn't used to their kind and because its hard to aproach someone different. But once that different person takes the extra step to turn around a jump right into the "majority" with ease and confidence the results can be quite amazing. Just look at Obama and what happened to me
Please discuss and I love this site, u guys are nice and extremely intelegent sounding. And ondine I like you too because you have contributed immensely to this site consistently and arnt afraid to speak your mind and I'm sorry if I come off as negative, its purely opinion. Thanks )