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Discussion Starter #1
Is anyone afraid that their spouse would not be attracted to them anymore if they drastically change their appearance? My definition of drastic change is 5+ shades lighter, depig or any other major cosmetic change. Or do you think your partner would be excited like Christmas morning unwrapping a new present every night? Donâ€2122t get me wrong, as a married woman I know my spouse expects me to age as time goes by or possibly gain weight etc. But if he/she married you as a darker skin person and loved you enough to dedicate their life to you would they still be attracted to you with a completely different look? Lastly, how do you introduce this desire to change appearance? Oh honey, I walked the dog, cooked dinner and ordered a crate of HQ to change my skin tone?
 

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Mmm good question. It could be good and bad. Good in the sense you appear more brighter, fresher, more eye catching. Bad in the sense you could be turning heads with the opposite sex. End result ''jelousy'' from your partner!
 

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IMO, a person, male or female, with a trendency to be possessive, mistrustful, suspicious & jealous will do so regardless of what their partner does. It is a character flaw in that individual & unless the person works through it, s/he could be married to Sasquatch & the jealousy would persist. At work, this person is likely jealous of coworkers & probably resents his neighbours for having a greener lawn or a bigger car.
What are you gonna do?

My husband is kind of obtuse about physical/cosmetic/esthetic stuff. I'd have to turn fluorescent green before he'd say "HEY! You changed your HAIR!"
this is a good thing for me because when I do have the occasional bad hair day or after I tried the TCA peel, it went right past him. Since I don't plan on turning Caucasian/white, or even Asian light gold, I doubt he will even spot a difference. As for the rest of my family, there are people every colour from very very dark brown to white/platinum blondes so, at a family get together, there too nobody is likely to notice. Some of my relatives who garden become very dark in Summer & become pale in winter. My guess is people will just assume that this is what happened to me.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thanks for the responses. Ondine- you are lucky not to have this burden to consider. I have not discussed this with my spouse yet and wondered how others tackled this task. Once I began the suggested regimen I will be lightening a large birthmark that covers 30% of my body but may experiment with my skin tone as well. Hopefully, I can fly under the hubby-radar and avoid any negative reactions. Thanks again ladies for your input.
 

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If it is a birthmark, lightening creams might not be the best solution. Have you seen a derm about it? It might be something best treated with a laser or chemical peel. If it turns out to be something you can treat with lightening creams, if you work slowly the change occurs over time & it'll seem to just be blending away naturally. Perhaps, too, your husband will prove to be a supportive ally.
 

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My husband only notices if things are drastic like most men.

So if I only go like four shades then I'll say I got a facial or something. He's the type as long as you look nice and treat him nice no worries!!

O YEAH AND COOK...he's all good
 

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heehee: sounds like we're married to the same guy! So long as the meatballs are in his spaghetti the way he likes them, I could develop a 3rd eye & I think he might not notice. My own father, who is dark brown, NEVER realized he had LIGHT BLUE EYES that shine out of his face! He has some green eyed & hazel eyed black siblings as well & he missed that too.
They can be REALLY dense sometimes! I'd hate to see him have to identify someone in a police lineup & give eyewitness testimony
 

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Discussion Starter #8
If it is a birthmark, lightening creams might not be the best solution. Have you seen a derm about it? It might be something best treated with a laser or chemical peel. If it turns out to be something you can treat with lightening creams, if you work slowly the change occurs over time & it'll seem to just be blending away naturally. Perhaps, too, your husband will prove to be a supportive ally.
Ondine,
I have seen a derma regarding this numerous times in my life. I was told my birthmark would fade over time and as I mature the mark is less visible. Honestly, my birthmark used to have a greenish blue tint to it and my family members think itâ€2122s a blessing…lol. I never had a problem with the mark until recently when I lost a few pounds and the mark got darker and is more visible due to skin shrinkage. Thankfully, it is not visible when I am dressed as it covers my lower half midsection and buttocks so I can wear most clothes including min-skirts and short…But Hot paints or short shorts, most swimsuits and bikiniâ€2122s are a big NO-NO thanks to my birthmark. I will not be able to revisit a derma until we return to the States so that is not an option for me for now.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Sweet Tea-
You are so lucky...My spouse is not a typical guy he notices everything. Initially this is what attracted me to him…7yrs later I am like ugh why canâ€2122t he just be quiet…does he have to see everything…
 
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