I noticed that one of the biggest conserns amoung forum members who lighten their skin is this idea that doing so makes them look like they want to change their ethicity. its almost offensive in a way for some reason. i can understand why. we look what has happened to the world 300 maybe even 400 years ago when Europeans pretty much took over the world and was working very hard at destroying everyone else. although the world has changed alot we are still not over alot of horrible stuff that happened so very long ago. we are starting to accept interacial relationships but people still cant are so sensitive about skin lightening. i remember on another forum where someone said its not like people think that white people are trying to be black if they tan. why would a white person want to be black? we are still not over this idea of white superiority and its a big fear that it might come back with non caucasions trying to be "white". i really think its just rediculous and its about time for us all to get or it. but its easier said then done.
as for trying to accept your self just the way you are. as for having self love, pride and confidence. its so easy people to say that we all should just be happy with ourselves just the way we are but history and or genes tells us different. people have been beautifying themselves since before they could walk upright. from the day people found the time to paint their face, style their clothing and cut their hair its just been down hill from there. we see beautiful people who go in to get their faces cut up buy plastic surgeons or people starving themselves, exercising excessivly or vomiting everything they eat. but for "normal"people we cant understand how something like this could be a disease but we obviousely know that something must be seriously wrong to have people self distructing like that.
i saw a story on tv about people who actually atempt to remove their own limbs as a way to improve the way they look and feel about themselves because in their mind having no legs is a sign of beauty for them. so do we still think that people who take beauty to the extreme are just people who dont love themselves? i think that these behaviours are just a manifistation of a deeply routed and over exaggerated and need for us all to be more attractive. most creatures want to be attractive and some find ways improve their attractivness. they send out chemicals, they groom, they flirt, fight... all to get the attention of the opposite sex and sometimes even the same sex. but because we have so much time on our hands we find stuff to obsess over to take up the time we have free.so why not use your own body as a working progress. do you think in the poorest parts of africa where there is so much hunger, disease, death, and distruction there are some people who think they are too fat and make it their choice to strarving themselves?lol. these people are starving cause there is no food. and finding food takes up all their time and thought that they cant possibly worry about being fat. people with anorexia can actually afford time to starve themselves cause they really dont have any real problems that they see as being more important so they make a problem. this doesnt take away fromt he fact that anorexia is still an seriouse, and hard to treat illness but it doesnt change the fact that people do it themselves.
here we have a great sense of entitlement. even the poorest amoung us has it. people who cant afford to pay their bills and has to work 2 jobs still have more then enough time to find something unimportant, that to them, is worth fixing or doing. we all think its strange that people would be willing to risk loosing their home or their freedom just to do..welll... whatever. but obviously being homless or going hungry is not a big enough concern for some people because we live with this high sense of entitlement. that we are entitled to the nesessities of life and it will be given to us or we will just take it. some people think that hey if i go homeless then i can get another job, crash at moms place, stay in a homless shelter, build a tent. they think that their problems are not really as bad as it might sound. this is quite true for people who suffer with an addiction. sometimes even dying or killing someone is not a big enough concern. these are the people who truely dont love themselves or care about the welfare of others around them. these are the people that we all should be worrying about.
the problem is not really the media or society's believes and values. these just inspire people to do something. the problem is that we are not busy. we all have something we obsess over and we all prioitize our daily lives differently. some people might overly obsess over hygene, organization, our appearance, our health, our kids,work. etc. while others neglect all these things for something else.
i personally know why i dont just say "forget it, im not going to go through with skin lightening".and it isnt because i just dont love myself.. i believe its because i havent found a better way to spend my money or my time. skin lightening is not perminant so there may come a day when i says forget it. its not worth the money or the time. but my life's experiences that i mentioned earlier are just my inspiration. i could easily be obsessed with saving money and be rich right now. i would actually prefer this. but nothing has really given me the nudge to do this. i have so much time on my hands that i dont even need to be here. there is so may many things that i could be doing right now other then typing this message. there are some things i could be doing that i would consider to be more important. but here i am. here we all are making the time to pop in here. to some it may seem pathetic but we all have are pathetic quarks that others may not understand.