i would like every1 who is trying to lighten there skin 2 respond. plus i'm curious. i want to lighten my skin too. i'm not sure of the reason. i know i just want to be a little lighter than i already am.
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maybe 2 or 3 shades at least.
Why do you want to lighten ur skin? i'm curious?
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lemme guess, you are from some asian country right?? In the USA , americans spend hours sitting on the beach in hot sun to make their skin tanner.In my country, have a lighter skin means beautifull... all womans here try everything to make their skin whiter...I never heard someone here try to tanning their skin... everybody wants to be lighter...![]()
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280 Posts
it is human nature to want what you dont have. i grew up in a community where my family was the only black family and i was the only black person im my school. i was raised to be proud of my heritage and african ancestry, which i am so life was a little tough but i believed i handled it better then most would. ive never had african american friend so even know as an adult i have a hard time relating with other black people my own age. so this may have played some kind of role in my skin lightening journey. but also noticing that just about every single black man i see seems to be hooking up with the whitest, blondest girl they can find. im all for inter-racial relationships but its seems as though every other culture (chinese, indian, korean, lebanese etc) are fighting to preserve their culture and values while white and black people are just all over the place. im so disgusted with this whole thing that i wouldnt date a black man who has been in relationships with anyone that wasnt black. so far ive been in only interracial relationships which is i know is totally hypacritical of me. but i would just want to be with someone who only wants a black woman an nothing else.
another thing that bugs me is that im not able to name one dark skinned non biracial black actress thats is doest act mainly steriotypical roles or black films of the top of my head. even when i think about it i can remeber faces and movies but no names. only halle berry comes to mind and well.... i remember watching Medea's Family Reunion and the 3 main charaters (the two sisters and their crazy mother) seemed biracial at least very very fair for black women. dont get me wrong. they were very beautiful, hazel eyed, long curly (not nappy) haired women. come on.
now what puts thing into prospective for me is when i asked a forum full of black women, how to lighten my skin. their reaction just says it all. it was almost like i offended them. im not trying to be white nor do i hate being black. i just find fairer skin more attractive (personally). so the best help i could get form these ladies is for them to tell me that to be happy with my skin the way it isand list all the wonder reasons why darker skin is better (as if i dont already know that i have the ultamate suncreen and i age better then ligher skin people).
i know its sound hypacricial for me to say that im proud to be black and that i want to be in a relationship with somone who is too but still have this desire to lighten my complexion but like i said. its not about changing my ethicity its not about being "whiter" to fit into society better. although it looks that way we see black women relaxing their hair straight or lightening their skin color. its just seems that society and the media seem to take a preference for light skinned and (non-nappy hair) black women. weither its wrong or right thats the way it is. you can be rebellious, indifferent or join the bandwagon. but just cause you choose the first two doesnt mean you care any less or doesnt mean that you are less effected buy it all.
i wonder if anything that im saying makes sense?
Well HonEb you're right it is hypocritical to say "interracial relationships are fine ( considering you were in one) but then to say you want a man ( a black man? or could he be white) that only dates AA women.
I recently read an article about interaccial relations and your feeling aren't necessarily alone, whites/blacks aren't the only one "mixing it up" I think Asians (according to the article) had the second highest rates of interaccial love especially if you go to the UK.
How could you not remember any black actresses? Whoopi?? I don't remember her in any typecasts, Cicely Tyson (mother in Diary of mad blck woman) says" she only plays roles of strong black women"... Iman?
Anyway I don't think theres anything wrong with skin lightening.
p.s Hollywood is racist..this is halle barry's statement to an interviewer even she had a very very hard time finding leading roles that wasn't a typecast. I mean think about it, she hasnt worked on a major film (leading)since monsterball and catwoman
I recently read an article about interaccial relations and your feeling aren't necessarily alone, whites/blacks aren't the only one "mixing it up" I think Asians (according to the article) had the second highest rates of interaccial love especially if you go to the UK.
How could you not remember any black actresses? Whoopi?? I don't remember her in any typecasts, Cicely Tyson (mother in Diary of mad blck woman) says" she only plays roles of strong black women"... Iman?
Anyway I don't think theres anything wrong with skin lightening.
p.s Hollywood is racist..this is halle barry's statement to an interviewer even she had a very very hard time finding leading roles that wasn't a typecast. I mean think about it, she hasnt worked on a major film (leading)since monsterball and catwoman
yea people would make fun of my friend like that... but, hey, look on the bright side, at least you know you have white teeth!
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102 Posts
WHEW, I'm at work right now (sneaking a peak) and again all I can say is WHEW!!!!.
HonEB you're experiences are somewhat unique so I can see how you "straddle the fence" and seem hypocritical both sides for the Black vs. White; and interracial thing. From your seat you have a clear perspective of each side of this issues. As you ...grow and learn.... I'm sure your opinions and actions will fall more in line with each other.
As for the Skin we are In. ?My god I wish we?d just love ourselves, as much as we ?admire? everyone else!!!!! We all seek self improvement, but can we do this without self ?loathing?
Vtoodler: The reason you photograph that way is often because of the lighting. ?We? folks of color require different lighting to enhance our features, usually Caucasian skin absorbs all the extra light and it?s very ?illuminating? (complimentary) to them; however on a person of color that same lighting creates harsh effects.?on the Oprah show it took them a few seasons to decide to change the set?s lighting to ?help? her TV image, and it worked?. (ask photographers for the details)
Blade: Girl you are right on! There are many women of color seeking the camera in Hollywood, but they only a few roles. In the 60?s they used to ignore many AA actors because they either weren?t black enough looking. Many by then refused to play the traditional ?N?word parts. In fact actors Sidney Poiter, Cicesly, and Harry Belafonte refused to play the roles that ?.so many of our black youth seem to only portray today. It?s insulting and hurts.
.Gotta Go now.
HonEB you're experiences are somewhat unique so I can see how you "straddle the fence" and seem hypocritical both sides for the Black vs. White; and interracial thing. From your seat you have a clear perspective of each side of this issues. As you ...grow and learn.... I'm sure your opinions and actions will fall more in line with each other.
As for the Skin we are In. ?My god I wish we?d just love ourselves, as much as we ?admire? everyone else!!!!! We all seek self improvement, but can we do this without self ?loathing?
Vtoodler: The reason you photograph that way is often because of the lighting. ?We? folks of color require different lighting to enhance our features, usually Caucasian skin absorbs all the extra light and it?s very ?illuminating? (complimentary) to them; however on a person of color that same lighting creates harsh effects.?on the Oprah show it took them a few seasons to decide to change the set?s lighting to ?help? her TV image, and it worked?. (ask photographers for the details)
Blade: Girl you are right on! There are many women of color seeking the camera in Hollywood, but they only a few roles. In the 60?s they used to ignore many AA actors because they either weren?t black enough looking. Many by then refused to play the traditional ?N?word parts. In fact actors Sidney Poiter, Cicesly, and Harry Belafonte refused to play the roles that ?.so many of our black youth seem to only portray today. It?s insulting and hurts.
.Gotta Go now.
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37 Posts
hey hon eb please email me girl because i feel the same way you feel and i would really like to talk to you privately [email protected] please email me
I posted this before and it got deleted, maybe for a good reason. As I said before, I've never dated a black guy. Ever. I'm just not physically attracted to them. Even in elementary I liked other races. I can count the number of black friends that I have had in life on one hand and still have fingers left over to count. It's not that I didn't try. We just never really got along. I had a really bad accent when I was younger and they couldn't accept that. Plus we never seemed to share the same interests. Today it's still the same.
It really pisses me off when they say that I want or try to be white. I'm like wtf? I don't get how its possible when that's already a part of me. Or it's either I'm not black enough or something. I try to stay true to all that I am and not just one particular thing. Hey, if I talk like I'm educated and proper and they don't like it, it's their f*cking problem.
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So yea, I've never really gotten along w/ black people so much. I remember when I was little I used to try so hard to fit in w/ them and they would make fun of me or talk behind my back or something. That really hurt me and for a while I totally hated black people with a passion.
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I was pretty much racist against them for a while treating them like crap. It's so sad to say. I'm over that though.
I'm only trying to make my skin tone even. I have extremely light patches on me that have been there since I was born and new ones that are appearing and spreading. I don't want to be "white" just normal.
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280 Posts
I noticed that one of the biggest conserns amoung forum members who lighten their skin is this idea that doing so makes them look like they want to change their ethicity. its almost offensive in a way for some reason. i can understand why. we look what has happened to the world 300 maybe even 400 years ago when Europeans pretty much took over the world and was working very hard at destroying everyone else. although the world has changed alot we are still not over alot of horrible stuff that happened so very long ago. we are starting to accept interacial relationships but people still cant are so sensitive about skin lightening. i remember on another forum where someone said its not like people think that white people are trying to be black if they tan. why would a white person want to be black? we are still not over this idea of white superiority and its a big fear that it might come back with non caucasions trying to be "white". i really think its just rediculous and its about time for us all to get or it. but its easier said then done.
as for trying to accept your self just the way you are. as for having self love, pride and confidence. its so easy people to say that we all should just be happy with ourselves just the way we are but history and or genes tells us different. people have been beautifying themselves since before they could walk upright. from the day people found the time to paint their face, style their clothing and cut their hair its just been down hill from there. we see beautiful people who go in to get their faces cut up buy plastic surgeons or people starving themselves, exercising excessivly or vomiting everything they eat. but for "normal"people we cant understand how something like this could be a disease but we obviousely know that something must be seriously wrong to have people self distructing like that.
i saw a story on tv about people who actually atempt to remove their own limbs as a way to improve the way they look and feel about themselves because in their mind having no legs is a sign of beauty for them. so do we still think that people who take beauty to the extreme are just people who dont love themselves? i think that these behaviours are just a manifistation of a deeply routed and over exaggerated and need for us all to be more attractive. most creatures want to be attractive and some find ways improve their attractivness. they send out chemicals, they groom, they flirt, fight... all to get the attention of the opposite sex and sometimes even the same sex. but because we have so much time on our hands we find stuff to obsess over to take up the time we have free.so why not use your own body as a working progress. do you think in the poorest parts of africa where there is so much hunger, disease, death, and distruction there are some people who think they are too fat and make it their choice to strarving themselves?lol. these people are starving cause there is no food. and finding food takes up all their time and thought that they cant possibly worry about being fat. people with anorexia can actually afford time to starve themselves cause they really dont have any real problems that they see as being more important so they make a problem. this doesnt take away fromt he fact that anorexia is still an seriouse, and hard to treat illness but it doesnt change the fact that people do it themselves.
here we have a great sense of entitlement. even the poorest amoung us has it. people who cant afford to pay their bills and has to work 2 jobs still have more then enough time to find something unimportant, that to them, is worth fixing or doing. we all think its strange that people would be willing to risk loosing their home or their freedom just to do..welll... whatever. but obviously being homless or going hungry is not a big enough concern for some people because we live with this high sense of entitlement. that we are entitled to the nesessities of life and it will be given to us or we will just take it. some people think that hey if i go homeless then i can get another job, crash at moms place, stay in a homless shelter, build a tent. they think that their problems are not really as bad as it might sound. this is quite true for people who suffer with an addiction. sometimes even dying or killing someone is not a big enough concern. these are the people who truely dont love themselves or care about the welfare of others around them. these are the people that we all should be worrying about.
the problem is not really the media or society's believes and values. these just inspire people to do something. the problem is that we are not busy. we all have something we obsess over and we all prioitize our daily lives differently. some people might overly obsess over hygene, organization, our appearance, our health, our kids,work. etc. while others neglect all these things for something else.
i personally know why i dont just say "forget it, im not going to go through with skin lightening".and it isnt because i just dont love myself.. i believe its because i havent found a better way to spend my money or my time. skin lightening is not perminant so there may come a day when i says forget it. its not worth the money or the time. but my life's experiences that i mentioned earlier are just my inspiration. i could easily be obsessed with saving money and be rich right now. i would actually prefer this. but nothing has really given me the nudge to do this. i have so much time on my hands that i dont even need to be here. there is so may many things that i could be doing right now other then typing this message. there are some things i could be doing that i would consider to be more important. but here i am. here we all are making the time to pop in here. to some it may seem pathetic but we all have are pathetic quarks that others may not understand.
as for trying to accept your self just the way you are. as for having self love, pride and confidence. its so easy people to say that we all should just be happy with ourselves just the way we are but history and or genes tells us different. people have been beautifying themselves since before they could walk upright. from the day people found the time to paint their face, style their clothing and cut their hair its just been down hill from there. we see beautiful people who go in to get their faces cut up buy plastic surgeons or people starving themselves, exercising excessivly or vomiting everything they eat. but for "normal"people we cant understand how something like this could be a disease but we obviousely know that something must be seriously wrong to have people self distructing like that.
i saw a story on tv about people who actually atempt to remove their own limbs as a way to improve the way they look and feel about themselves because in their mind having no legs is a sign of beauty for them. so do we still think that people who take beauty to the extreme are just people who dont love themselves? i think that these behaviours are just a manifistation of a deeply routed and over exaggerated and need for us all to be more attractive. most creatures want to be attractive and some find ways improve their attractivness. they send out chemicals, they groom, they flirt, fight... all to get the attention of the opposite sex and sometimes even the same sex. but because we have so much time on our hands we find stuff to obsess over to take up the time we have free.so why not use your own body as a working progress. do you think in the poorest parts of africa where there is so much hunger, disease, death, and distruction there are some people who think they are too fat and make it their choice to strarving themselves?lol. these people are starving cause there is no food. and finding food takes up all their time and thought that they cant possibly worry about being fat. people with anorexia can actually afford time to starve themselves cause they really dont have any real problems that they see as being more important so they make a problem. this doesnt take away fromt he fact that anorexia is still an seriouse, and hard to treat illness but it doesnt change the fact that people do it themselves.
here we have a great sense of entitlement. even the poorest amoung us has it. people who cant afford to pay their bills and has to work 2 jobs still have more then enough time to find something unimportant, that to them, is worth fixing or doing. we all think its strange that people would be willing to risk loosing their home or their freedom just to do..welll... whatever. but obviously being homless or going hungry is not a big enough concern for some people because we live with this high sense of entitlement. that we are entitled to the nesessities of life and it will be given to us or we will just take it. some people think that hey if i go homeless then i can get another job, crash at moms place, stay in a homless shelter, build a tent. they think that their problems are not really as bad as it might sound. this is quite true for people who suffer with an addiction. sometimes even dying or killing someone is not a big enough concern. these are the people who truely dont love themselves or care about the welfare of others around them. these are the people that we all should be worrying about.
the problem is not really the media or society's believes and values. these just inspire people to do something. the problem is that we are not busy. we all have something we obsess over and we all prioitize our daily lives differently. some people might overly obsess over hygene, organization, our appearance, our health, our kids,work. etc. while others neglect all these things for something else.
i personally know why i dont just say "forget it, im not going to go through with skin lightening".and it isnt because i just dont love myself.. i believe its because i havent found a better way to spend my money or my time. skin lightening is not perminant so there may come a day when i says forget it. its not worth the money or the time. but my life's experiences that i mentioned earlier are just my inspiration. i could easily be obsessed with saving money and be rich right now. i would actually prefer this. but nothing has really given me the nudge to do this. i have so much time on my hands that i dont even need to be here. there is so may many things that i could be doing right now other then typing this message. there are some things i could be doing that i would consider to be more important. but here i am. here we all are making the time to pop in here. to some it may seem pathetic but we all have are pathetic quarks that others may not understand.
wow. long speech honeb. I've already mentioned the reason why I need to lighten the rest of my skin so I can actually match. I was born here. My family is from a variety of places. My family is so scattered its crazy! I'm still meeting new people that I didn't even know I was related to. My family is HUGE. I used to have a really country "white" (grrr) accent. Stupid judgemental people...
I chose to lighten my skin because I had uneven skin tone (pregnancy) and freckles I wanted to get rid of and I was told that by lightening my skin will even out my skin and it did and lightened my freckles too. Everyone has their own reasons. Whatever makes you happy right?
I myself do not understand why people want to lighten their skin ... considering the risk of cancer associated with these types of products are so incredibly high.
I like my skin colour and I really don't want to lighten it. It's part of what makes me fabulous!
Gisele
I like my skin colour and I really don't want to lighten it. It's part of what makes me fabulous!
Gisele
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280 Posts
the question is not why people want to lighten their skin, its weither or not they would be happy with the results of their efforts. i dont care why. if its because they hate their race? if its because people think that dark skin is unattractive? is it because they are trying to look like someone else (a celeb)?... that means nothing. people who care about why others do skin lightening tend to look at the issue from a personal stand point. its hard to understand why someone would want to lighten their skin if they never had the desire personally. very few skin lighteners ask why just out of curiousity; they already know why from personal experience. most people that ask me why i lighten are people who have no interest in doing it themselves or find it revolting but still feel the need to understand it anyways.
what scares me(and what i actually care about) is when someone doesnt get what they want or are unhappy/unsatisfied with their results. its one thing to be a fool (and do dangerouse things your the body) but end up the winner anyways. is another if you are a fool and you end up worse then when you started.
what scares me(and what i actually care about) is when someone doesnt get what they want or are unhappy/unsatisfied with their results. its one thing to be a fool (and do dangerouse things your the body) but end up the winner anyways. is another if you are a fool and you end up worse then when you started.
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